~oliveover

It's day four, and I'm exhausted. I still have loads of things before me- many of which don't make sense to do now. I need somewhere to put my head, a Pensieve if you will.

And all of you have the honor, or burden, to have my thoughts with you. It's your decision if you want to ready about the joys and grievances of a teenage girl.

one ` Zen is hardly progressive, and that makes me extremely sad. For those of you who don't know, Zen has been one of my on and off literary projects. Its been going for about two or three years now. Sometimes I'm stoked to write, but that time is not now. But I want it to be. Oh, and see point 2.

two ` I think I'm trying to take on too much all at once. I need to slim everything down. I need to focus. I have too many goals going all at once. Here are some of the many:
- I want to eventually become an intermediate hip hop dancer (Harbour, level 3 [aka HARDCORE]), preferrably before I turn 25.
- I want to be at least somewhere near Autumnx and Patternfactory's awesomeness levels when it comes to their artwork- which I am not at the moment. And I want a lot of views, har.
- I want to be socially active and accepted- which, unfortuanately, I'm not so much at the moment.
- I want to be someone people can look up to, not someone who's lost in the equation.
- I want to start up a sewing project and be good at it.
- I want to finish my novel.
- I want to be able to sing well.
- I want to be able to play the guitar well.
- I want to be able to play the piano well again.
- I want to finish the 50 book challenge (5 months left!)
- I want to get into either University of _insert name of my state/province here_, but preferably UCLA (harsh. You have no idea man.)
- I want to have unbelievable self-confidence.
- I want to be able to balance time like Plank (that bitch is crazy).
- I want to be able to be me without having to worry (why do I worry?).
- I want to be able to write music, and for it to sound good.
- I want to be awesomely, somewhat interested in video games again.
- I want to be active in the community.
- I want to help myself and others.

There. Those are all of my major, somewhat-selfish desires.

three ` I hate teenage infatuation.
four ` Those kids at my Summer School all seem loads more interesting than myself.

five ` I hate how I struggle to concentrate.

six ` I need to watch my mouth.

seven ` Despite all of this weird shit, I'm still epically happy with most things. Is that weird?

eight ` I wish I had more control over my siblings. If anything happens to my mom or dad, I want to be ready, and I want them to die knowing they can trust me. I’m not in that position right now.

nine ` I can’t think. What do I want? I need to sleep to think. I need to sleep to think.

God help me.
- Jenny.